Positive Recovery – Part 2: Dealing with Worry
Positive Recovery with Richard Jones
Part 2: Dealing with Worry
Human beings are hard-wired to notice the dangers and threats in their environment. From an evolutionary perspective being anxious, worried, and “on your toes” were good qualities. However, in today’s world worry is a major and sometimes difficult challenge
Back in the day; worry would keep you alive in a dangerous world. If you were too relaxed you were going to get eaten or stepped on by a woolly mammoth.
We carry this same type of hypervigilance with us today.
The good news is, most of us are not in physical danger on most days. Instead, we tend to channel this energy and vigilance toward psychological threats and potential problems. Dealing with worry and anxiety is a challenge for all human beings.
It is certainly part of the recovery process.
Of course, this also applies to family members dealing with a loved one’s addiction.
A Major Challenge
Stating the obvious. Worry is a major challenge if you are dealing with your loved one and any healthcare issue. This is certainly the case with substance use disorders.
The chronic nature of these issues; The ups and downs; The seemingly outrageous, irrational and infuriating behaviors that accompany the disorder.
You have probably been told: “you need to focus on yourself” or “let go and let God” or “detach with love”. All of this is good advice. If only it were that simple.
If you are in recovery, from anything, managing worry is very important. Out of control worry and anxiety increases relapse risk and decreases quality of life. It’s a very important aspect of POSITIVE RECOVERY.
Perhaps some more information and practical suggestions will help you along the way:
What Are You Dealing With?
First, it is important to understand exactly what you are dealing with where worry and anxiety is concerned. You may have been told you have an anxiety disorder. You may have been told you are a chronic worrier.
For clarification purposes:
Worry: a state of anxiety and uncertainty over actual or potential problems. A chain of negative laden thoughts reviewing past issues or projecting future results.
Many times, worry takes on a problem solving element. An attempt to “figure it out”.
A couple of things right off the jump: The concept of “uncertainty over actual or potential problems” warrants further attention.
We must emphasize that where addiction and recovery are concerned, there are always real and actual problems to consider. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY FOR WORRYING ABOUT THE REAL PROBLEMS THAT EXIST IN YOUR LIFE. That is normal.
The issue gets more serious when you become consumed. When you worry about worry. When it debilitates and distracts you in a damaging manner.
Here is some practical advice and a couple of ideas to assist you in coping with worry and anxiety.
1) Try to stay in the present moment.
Worry involves an almost compulsive tendency to project future outcomes and/or ruminate on past issues.
Staying in the present moment is a SKILL that you can develop over time:
a) Daily practice to stay grounded include meditation, prayer, and mindfulness exercises. A couple other exercises include: turning off the music/radio as you drive to work; pay attention to your surroundings; many times we drive to work on automatic pilot.
b) In the moment exercises: When you find your mind wandering bring yourself back and place intentional focus on whatever activity is in front of you. Literally talk to yourself. In you mind walk yourself through the activity (“I am now calling the next customer”; “I am now grading these papers” etc…)
2) DO NOT try and suppress the worry by berating yourself.
DO NOT “worry about worry”. As we try and push down a thought or an emotion it tends to gain strength. Instead try to accept and observe the worry and “ride it out”. Remember, what you fight gets stronger. Accept the situation, observe the feelings and it will dissipate quicker than you may anticipate.
3) Try to focus on the positive things in your life.
Our brain picks up on the negative but we need to be intentional about noticing the positive.
Every day write down 3 good things that happened that day. Rather than a general gratitude list, “3 good things” should focus on very specific things that happened throughout the course of the day.
Write it down. Preferably at the end of the day; same time every day.
Try these things. Commit to 30 days of reprogramming yourself. See if it improves.
