A STORY: About a Shady Dude with a Dump Truck.
Let Me Tell You A Story
The story is about a summer job I had back in the day.
I’m pretty sure it was illegal. But I was just a grunt worker.
When I was 16 years old. Let’s just say, these folks were not concerned with labor laws. Or OSHA regulations.
These old heads would pick me up every morning. Around 6 am.
If I was even 1 second late I would be punished for my indiscretion. Punishment was typically an entire morning filled with an old heads’ deconstruction of society.
With special emphasis on social problems.
Old Head Logic
Basically, the logic went like this:
- These kids these days are soft. Irresponsible. LAZY.
- THEREFORE: These kids these days are going to destroy our beloved country.
- AND WE ALSO KNOW: Rich is one of these kids. And Today is one of “these days”.
- THEREFORE: Rich is going to destroy the world with his laziness and irresponsibility.
- THE ONLY HOPE: The old heads tighten me up and get me back on track.
This daily re-education camp involved many other wildly in-congruent concepts.
The most interesting being their theory that America would lose to Russia in World War 3 because of me (and all the rest of “these kids”).
We were too lazy and unreliable to win a war.
Days of “Red Dawn”
In response to this ridiculousness I once said: “WW 3 would be a nuclear war. We are all dead regardless of work ethic”….
They responded with something like: “don’t give us that college boy bullshit. You need to man up and fight”……
For the record: I was not a “college boy” at that time. And there was no war. There was no one to “fight”.
**This was 1985. The days of “Red Dawn”.
SIDE NOTE: These “Uber-responsible” and hardworking patriots had the uncanny ability to stretch lunch hour into “lunch hours” (essentially hiding from the owner of the company).
Rehabilitation
They also had an uncanny ability to make the 16 year old society destroyer do all the work.
I guess this was part of their plan for my rehabilitation. But I found it odd that such paragons of society would be so deceitful? Stealing hours and cutting corners?
Now, back to the main point.
In addition to my daily indoctrination on all things manly and all things patriotic, I had to deal with the work itself.
The job was for an asphalt company.
Actually, I’m not sure it was a legit company.
Homeowner’s Beware
It was a shady dude with an old dump truck.
We would go to the “asphalt plant” every morning and fill up the truck.
We would then drive to nearby businesses and residential homes and see if anyone wanted a new driveway or parking lot.
Of course, we all got paid cash at the end of each day.
What a Deal!
We would literally drive up to someone’s business and be like:
“Hey sir, we have some extra asphalt. Want to cut a deal on a new driveway”?
And believe it or not. Many people would say: “Yes. I would like that”…..
Things got real intense once we got a yes from a “customer”.
Once you uncover the asphalt and start pouring it you must move quick.
This was in the summer and it would be like 95 degrees and humid.
Add in 300 degrees coming off the asphalt. Add in the 2 patriots who did no work. And what are you left with…..
Me…… you are left with me and my shovel. And my sweat. And my pain. And my resentment. And no child labor laws to protect me.
No Mercy from Mom
I once complained to my mom about the work and she was appalled at my lack of gratitude.
She stared a hole right thru my chest into my soul.
It was clear. I would find no sympathy with her.
No mercy. It was me against the machine).
Everyday I would drag myself back into that dump truck for the ride home.
Having lost 30 pounds from excessive perspiration syndrome. Thank goodness the 2 upstanding patriots were willing to contribute to my delinquency and share their “Iron City” beers with me.
I had job after job like this growing up.
Another Day, Another Story
Maybe one day I will tell another story about standing outside for hours on end to direct cars at the ski resort.
Freezing to death in minus 20 degree weather. I was found in a snow bank frozen on at least 3 occasions.
Again….. no mercy.
Extremely Grateful
When I think of hard work. I think of these things. I am extremely grateful for my job.
It’s hard. But not actually hard…. not like the asphalt dudes.
