PURPOSE: FINDING IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Finding Purpose by Richard Jones

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Finding purpose may be the most important aspect of finding peace, contentment…dare I say happiness.

Mark Twain said:

“The 2 most important days of your life; the day you were born and the day you find out why you were born.”

Viktor Frankl (Man’s Search For Meaning) said happiness is the result of fulfilling one’s purpose.

You will not experience happiness (or subjective well being) by seeking happiness. It is a “side effect” of working within one’s purpose. Or better yet, having meaning in your life.

You can find temporary happiness and distraction in hedonism and pleasure seeking.

Indeed, pleasure is a necessary part of life. However, the pursuit of happiness actually leads to unhappiness. Happiness is a result of a journey; not a destination.

Purpose is ______

Purpose is something to explore at an individual level and at an organizational level. It is different than “mission” or “vision”. It is deep. Purpose is existential and metaphysical. But at the same time it is operational and has a “real world aspect”.

Purpose involves a BIG AUDACIOUS GOAL. It is our “stretch goal”.

Purpose and meaning will also allow us to move through suffering and function (perhaps even thrive) in the face of terrible outcomes.

All of us. ALL OF US… ONCE MORE…ALL OF US are subject to grief, loss, disappointment, worry.

Life is Hard

Life is hard. Our consumer driven culture tells us that we all SHOULD have a “hallmark card” existence. Marketing and advertising executives are masters at creating envy and self-doubt…so that we run out and buy something new. Meaning and purpose give us a reason to go on.

Staying in touch with “why are we here” will get us through major challenges.

Just remember: S – M = D

Suffering – Meaning = Despair.

AND: S + M = H

Suffering + Meaning = HOPE.

My Purpose?

What is my purpose and what is the purpose of the organizations I choose to be part of? In addition, what is the purpose of the friends I choose to associate with?

It’s hard to sum up in one distinct sentence: maybe a set of principles:

1) I need to put my family first.

When push comes to shove I will always put my family ahead of my business, friends, etc… For me this bumps up against my workaholic nature. But make no mistake; financially and otherwise. I will always act with their interests in mind first.

2) Human beings deserve respect by virtue of fact they are breathing.

ALL HUMAN BEINGS DESERVE ACCESS TO LIFE CHANGING SUPPORT SERVICES. This access should NOT BE CONTINGENT on their compliance with an arbitrary “willingness” criteria. Therefore, the office based model is useless in my mind.

I have unique abilities at building relationships with hurting people. As well as having unique abilities to teach others how to do this. I have unique abilities in setting up systems that support the delivery of these services.

I have a moral obligation to reach as many people as possible. EXCEPT WHEN TO DO SO WILL HURT ME OR MY FAMILY.

3) Therefore, my professional purpose is to literally change the way professional “helping” services are delivered so that addiction, depression, anxiety and suicide become the exception rather than the rule.

Eradicate suffering and death associated with these treatable and preventable conditions.

Global Eradication

Global eradication will obviously require a fundamentally new way of addressing these issues. The solution has not yet been discovered. The solution has nothing to do with existing practices.

NOTE: if people find this type of talk “corny” or “over the top” they are not allowed in my circle. I will not affiliate with them. If they are extended family or friends even…I will not affiliate with them beyond the necessary superficial interactions. Also, I care not what they think of me…

I Struggle and Suffer

As a parent I struggle with an ever-present feeling I am not the best father.  This may not be seen as “suffering” in the classic sense.  However, when it gets bad it keeps me up at night and definitely impacts me in a negative manner.

I “suffer” through the self-doubt and negative self-talk for sure as well as the guilt.

I struggle with the amount of time I work and spend a good deal of time beating myself up.

As stated above; I have a tendency toward workaholism and I also suffer through self-doubt related to the program and the business.  I get down and I ask myself:  Why bother with this?  Why are you killing yourself working this way?

Just go punch a clock.  I get full of fear and anxiety related to finances.  As far as I’m concerned…I suffer.

But if I am able to step back and evaluate things in terms of “my purpose”.

3 Guidelines

In terms of these 3 guidelines; perhaps I will come to a different conclusion.  Let’s look at this through this matrix:

1). Have I demonstrated adherence to the principle of family first when push comes to shove:

I would answer that as a yes.  I have quit jobs and I have changed schedules on the drop of a dime when my family was in need.  Our lifestyle currently allows me to work this schedule.  But if something changes with my wife’s availability or with health issues or with school issues etc… I will change course immediately.   I am operating within my purpose.

2). Have I demonstrated adherence to the principle of human beings deserve respect and support and access to life changing services?

This is very important and relates to question 1.  My “workaholic” tendency are played out in a vocation that is not well rewarded financially, that is thankless in many ways, that involves pain and suffering.  I’m not working all these hours to just accumulate wealth.  I’m on a mission.  I am operating within my purpose.

3). Have I demonstrated adherence to the principle of transforming the delivery of services and changing the world?  

Yes!  I have no interest in making a living or interest in creating just another treatment or recovery program.  I have no interest in the status quo, spending all day every day trying to figure out a way to turn this thing on its head.

Find Your Purpose.

Therefore, I am operating within my purpose.  This makes the day a bit easier.  This keeps me moving forward when the voice in my head is screaming “quit”.  This makes it all worthwhile.  This is the key to life…. Find your purpose.

Do an exercise like this… try to get clear on your purpose. I promise it will help.