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hitting bottom

hitting bottom

Who Came Up With This “Wait Until They Hit Bottom” Bullshit”?

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Into the Church Basement


💥💥💥Don’t tell anyone, but I went to a meeting last night.

Again, keep it quiet, but I have issues.

So I attend a certain type of meeting where we talk about how to best deal with said issues.

So I walk into the church basement and I join a crowd of people with “issues”.

The average age in the room was probably mid-50’s.

The average amount of time in recovery from “issues” was probably 20 plus years.

I’m sure there were a couple of newer and younger people in that room. But you had to pay close attention to find them.

But that is beside the point.

A fascinating story was shared.

The Story

This dude with a bunch of time “dealing with issues” was talking about struggling back in the day.

Like in the 1980’s.

Apparently he had some trouble before it “finally stuck”.

He said he was a chronic relapser (his term not mine), and “for years I was in and out and in and out”.

He talked about how bad it got.

As they say, jails and institutions and near death.

Meetings

Then he shared that there was a group of men from the “meetings” who “kept coming to see me”.

They would meet him at hospitals, come to see him in jail, they met him for coffee. He said “they just kept showing up”.

He was emotional when talking about it. It clearly touched him even 30 years later.

It Got Me Thinking

Who the hell came up with this “wait until they hit bottom” bullshit”?

What kind of person tells another person “you just need more pain” and “come back when you want it”.

How did this attitude become the prevailing attitude?

IT DOESN’T REPRESENT THE FOUNDATIONAL SPIRIT OF RECOVERY.

Back in the day Bill W and Dr. Bob would go out to hospitals looking for “alcoholics”.

They would literally walk up to the nursing station and say “you have any alcoholics we can help”.

They did not wait for people to show up.

I know we can’t reach everyone. But we can change our attitude.

“They need to hit bottom and come and get it” is a paradigm that needs to be transformed.

Think about it??? Rich.

ABOUT RICH JONES MA, MBA, LCAS, SAP
EVP & EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, HERITAGE CARES

Richard Jones

Executive Vice President (EVP) at Heritage Health Solutions, Inc.
Chief Strategy Officer Co-Founder at Youturn,
CEO at Wellness Partners Group
CEO/President at Jones Solutions Group
Former CEO at FAVOR Greenville

Visit Heritage Health at – Click Here

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Recovery Cartel Blog - Denial

Confronting Denial – What Does That Mean?

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CERTAIN TERMS – He”s in “Denial” 

There are certain terms, many related to substance use disorders, that are universally recognized by people.

These terms are part of pop-culture and even people outside the recovery echo chamber are aware of what they stand for.

Terms like “tough love” and “hit bottom” are 2 examples.

DENIAL

Another term associated with substance use disorder is the term “denial”.

He is in denial. She needs help but she is in denial.

People throw the term around but I’m not sure they even know what the label means. Are you saying the person is not aware of the problem?

Because, technically, that is what it means.

From a psychological perspective, it is a technical term (developed by Freud; refined by his daughter Anne Freud).

The ego utilizes denial to “block reality” because the individual (technically the id) can not handle the reality. It shuts out evidence.

PSYCHOLOGY TODAY

Psychology Today puts it this way:

“when you use denial, you simply refuse to accept the truth or reality of a fact or experience”.

Perhaps this would apply to a person in the beginning stages of alcohol use disorder.

The socially acceptable and slow progression aspect of alcohol use would make it possible. Perhaps someone in the beginning stages of cannabis use disorder.

Again, there is a process and progression that may make denial more likely.

Maybe cocaine use disorder. Early on. Probably the beginning stages of prescription opioid misuse.

But I am of the opinion that “denial” is not the issue for many of the people who receive the label “in denial”.

Many who are “not getting help” are quite aware they have a problem.

THEIR IN DENIAL? – REALLY 

Do you actually think a person addicted to heroin is in denial?

Do they “have no awareness” of the desperation of their situation?

Or methamphetamine or crack cocaine? Or the “alpha alcoholic” who is drinking himself or herself literally “to death”.

They are quite aware that they have “a problem and need help”.

IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM

We can not solve problems if don’t accurately identify the problem we are trying to solve.

The assumption of “denial” sets up a societal response that borders on cruel. The assumption of denial leads to the assumption that “hitting bottom” is the only way to “break through denial”.

NOT DENIAL

  • The issue is not denial.
  • The issue is readiness to change.
  • The issue is motivation to persevere.
  • The issue is access to service.
  • The issue is lack of alternatives and options for recovery.
  • The issue is unaddressed underlying trauma.

But its not denial.

LESS THAN 10%

As professionals our job is to find ways to solve those problems listed above.

Not to wait for the “breakthrough of denial”.

As a society our job is to put money into research for alternative solutions. We need go beyond the mere funding of a relatively narrow scope of practice.

A system that deals with less than 10% of the people with this particular healthcare issue.

RIOTS IN THE STREETS

If there was only one medicine for cancer, and it was rejected by 90% of those with a cancer diagnosis, what would our societal response be?

There would be riots in the streets, followed by a massive amount of money focusing on drug development and alternative therapies. The government would pour money into research.

The American Cancer Society’s coffers would overflow. Celebrities would demand action.

But where addiction is concerned, 90% reject the only medicine available, and we call them “treatment resistant”.

TREATMENT RESISTANT

We tell them, and their families, they are in denial.

Let them hit bottom. Let them experience pain and we can then breakthrough.

FOR THE RECORD

You can not work for, or volunteer, with FAVOR Greenville if you believe people need to hit bottom and break through.

We will work with you to help you gain an understanding of the change process.

We will be patient if you are making an effort toward true multiple pathway work.

But if you can’t get there we will politely and cordially part ways.

CONNECTION

It is our core belief that people get better in the context of a loving and compassionate relationship.

And, although there are times when circumstances dictate hard boundaries, connection is the opposite of addiction.

Connection will bring more people into the recovery process than breaking through denial.

We are seeing this play out everyday.