MY SON IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE ECONOMY
– KEEP IT CLOSED!!!

In the spirit of full transparency: I was a COVID-19 denier at the beginning of the COVID news cycle.

I said stupid things about “over-reaction”. I made dumb comments about toilet paper hoarders.

Now I know what it’s like to be a grade A 100% “coronavirus clown”.

However, it quickly became apparent to me how wrong I was. I apologize for being one of the useful idiots.

I’m glad I was able to get back on track in a relatively short period of time. I would like to thank the lovely Mrs. Jones for her help in “waking me up”!

ONE OTHER THING BEFORE WE GET STARTED:

If you disagree with me, you can’t write me off as a “socialistic” loser who is just trying to live off the government.

I’m as free-market, capitalistic, meritocratic as it gets.

I own businesses that will suffer as a result of the shut-down.

The social justice warriors do not like me. I’m one of the evil capitalists. And I say: KEEP IT CLOSED.

MY SON AIDEN

In the fall of 2018 my son Aiden, was hospitalized due to a respiratory issue.

I won’t get into the details. The bottom line was 4 days in ICU in a “drug induced coma” with a “breathing tube”.

I thank God every day that he got through that.

However, he was hospitalized again in December of 2018 for the same issue. This is called a “pre-existing condition”.

COVID-19 has me losing my shit.

• I’m not sleeping well.
• I become preoccupied with my family’s health nearly every night.
• I’m not in a great frame of mind throughout the day.

COME ON RICH

If you say “Come on Rich, you are making a big deal out nothing”, it will engender a strong desire within me to react in an aggressive manner.

However, I will not do that, because I am gentleman. I don’t believe in violence.

One thing I know for sure though. If you make those “just chill out” type comments, you are the one who is mentally unstable; not me

One thing I know for sure. If you make those “just chill out” type comments, you are the one who is mentally unstable; not me.

MENTAL HEALTH EXAM

Mental Health Status Exam and Affect Appropriate to Situation. It is common practice in mental health settings to conduct a mental health status exam.

During the exam, the practitioner will assess multiple dimensions of mental and emotional health.

Including a category labeled “mood and affect”.

“Affect” is the patient’s immediate expression of emotion; mood refers to the more sustained emotional makeup of the patient’s personality.

Patients display a range of affect that may be described as broad, restricted, labile, or flat.

Affect is inappropriate when there is no consonance between what the patient is experiencing or describing and the emotion he is showing at the same time (e.g., laughing when relating the recent death of a loved one).

Both affect and mood can be described as dysphoric (depression, anxiety, guilt), euthymic (normal), or euphoric). (David Martin, Clinical Methods, the History, Physical and Laboratory Examinations, 3rd Edition).

Therefore, you can complete a mental health status exam on a person who is visibly upset, worried, angry etc… and conclude that they are “normal”.

NORMAL

There are multiple ways to describe these “normal” results of the mental status exam:

Affect appropriate to situation (something bad happened and you should be upset).

Mood and affect within normal range (your affect/mood is similar to most other people dealing with this type of issue).

The inverse is true as well.

NOT NORMAL

If you are NOT upset or worried or angry etc…when most people would be upset or worried or angry… you may be experiencing a “pathological state”.

Let’s just talk straight: If you think COVID-19 is no big deal.

If you think people are over-reacting.

If you think people are “just afraid and worried for no reason”.

YOU MIGHT BE THE ONE WITH THE MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEM. Not the other way around.

Anxiety, worry and fear ARE NOT DISORDERS.

BREAKING COVID-19 WORRY

There was little scientific “evidence” included in Pastor James Gordon Gilkey’s classic book: How to Master Life.

The book was basically a compilation of Gilkey’s personal philosophy, self-help advice, and anecdotes.

He wrote about his take on the world. He also gathered compelling observations from other people.

It was the 1930’s and the “self help industry“ was just getting started.

In the chapter entitled “Breaking the Grip of Worry” he writes about a “table” that someone developed.

This “table” has been attributed to Mark Twain-although no one is 100% sure if that is where it originated.

WORRIES & FEARS

The purpose of the table is to categorize worries.

Interestingly, this taxonomy of worry was widely endorsed and validated by readers at that time.

Picture a collective, head nodding, “I can relate”, type response.

To summarize what Gilkey wrote:

This man (presumably Mark Twain) had monitored his worries and fears.

He had written them down and after a period of time he came up with the following distribution of worry and fear:

• Worry about disasters, which never actually happened. About 40% of the anxieties.
• Worries about past decisions/mistakes. Things that you cannot control. About 30% of anxieties.
• Worries about possible sickness or “possible nervous breakdown”. But they never happened. About 12% of worries.
• Worries about family (especially children), friends. About 10% of my worries.
• Worries that have a real foundation. Possibly 8% of the total. (Legitimate concerns; real threats).
• Worries that have a “real foundation” are not worries.

YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED

They are fears, and they are legitimate fears.

Anxiety, worry, and fear serve a purpose.

They are not pathological, “diagnosable” or disordered.

They are not “clinically significant” unless they reach a very specific level. See DSM-V criteria for generalized anxiety disorder as an example.

If you are worried about COVID-19, and all the associated issues, it’s because YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED.

HAVE A COVID-19 PLAN

However, you do not have to act on the worry.

You do not have to be controlled by the worry. Also, you can move forward with confidence and still be worried.

You should develop a personal plan of action to deal with these challenging times AND you should work that plan.

But go ahead and worry. Go ahead and feel fear.

Courage equals performing your day to day duties in the face of fear.

You are courageous.

The post I WAS A COVID-19 DENIER – DON’T BE LIKE ME! appeared first on The Recovery Cartel.

This is a 1948 version of Dale Carnegie’s book: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.

I found this book hidden away at the #witnessprotection cabin.

The previous owner was a self improvement junkie just like me…. she passed away suddenly and left behind all these self-improvement books.

I have the new version of the book (printed in 2004).

This old school version isn’t worth more money or anything like that it’s just kinda cool to find this here. I think this book is one of the most effective tools for dealing with anxiety and chronic worry.

The previous owner most certainly got some mileage from these techniques and now I will do the same.

Rule #1: If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did. Live in “day-tight compartments”.

a) Don’t stew about the future.
b) Just live each day until bedtime.

Rule # 2: Next time you are faced with TROUBLE try the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier:

a) Ask yourself: what is the worst that can happen?
b) Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst
c) But calmly try to improve upon the “worst”–which you have already accepted.

Rule # 3: Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health.

“Businessmen who do not know how to fight worry die young”.

Another good piece of advice:

When faced with a seemingly insurmountable problem:

1) Get the facts
2) Analyze the facts
3) Arrive at a decision and act on that decision.

Boom… there you have it…

The post Dealing with Anxiety & Chronic Worry appeared first on The Recovery Cartel.

I recently found the best definition of worry.  It was in the clinical psychology textbook Worry and its Psychological Disorders by Graham Davey and Adrian Wells.

From page 5: “Worry has been defined as a chain of thoughts and images, negatively affect-laden and relatively uncontrollable; it represents an attempt to engage in mental problem-solving on an issue whose outcome is uncertain but contains the possibility of one or more negative outcomes; consequently, worry relates closely to the fear process”.

I like this definition because it captures the elements of uncertainty and fear associated with worry.

In interest of focusing on the solution I would like to offer 15 useful strategies to cope with worry:

Do NOT worry about worry: One of the main differentiating factors in terms of worry is the phenomenon of WORRY about WORRY.  This seems to be equated with more significant worry “issues”.  So if you worry…DON’T worry about it…  You are normal.

Focus on “Worst Case Scenario”: If you are able to visualize the worst possible outcome of the situation and envision how you would respond you can reduce worry in the present.

Set aside “time” to worry: Sounds weird but put it on the calendar.  Maintain a certain day and/or time to “worry” and problem-solve.  Bring paper and a pen and start writing down contingencies and potential solutions.  This can reduce the random and ongoing “worrying”.

Keep a pen and paper on your nightstand to write down the worries that keep you up at night: Trading on the principle of “getting it out of your head”.  Get it down on paper and then go back to sleep.

Find a consultant to process the issue that you are worried about: Try to find someone who is an expert in the area of worry (for example financial problems, addiction in the family, children struggling in school) and see if they can provide feedback.  You are trying to focus your “problem-solving” on a specific target.  In addition, you may uncover actual solutions.

Worry involves “problem-solving”. Try to identify the “next step” and stop there:  The risk with worry is that you go down the rabbit hole of contingencies and potentialities.  You tend to project well into the future.  For example: you are worried about a particular health issue and you start ruminating on the situation.  Next thing you know you are trying to figure out which long term nursing home you can get into based on your retirement fund.  Instead focus on scheduling a doctor appointment with your primary care physician and let it go.  Wait until the results to become worried about the next steps.

If you have “multiple worries” try to prioritize: My wife just went on a rant about multiple financial things we need to address.  Whoa… calm down.  Let’s focus on one thing at a time.  Ask yourself what is current focus and what is the next step associated with that particular issue.  Using Stephen Covey’s priority matrix as a guide I have developed a framework for prioritizing worry (below):

The key to prioritizing and working through worry is to spend your time “above the line” in quadrant 1 and quadrant 2.  Lack of control is incredibly stressful and learning to step away from situations you don’t control can have very positive impact.  As with all things that involve human beings it is not an exact science.  Think of this a guideline.

Watch out for the weird, wacky and wild worries that come out of left field: These are usually generated from our sensationalized news outlets.  They show you a story of someone who developed chronic headaches and they speculate it is from cell phone use.  The headaches put the person into a depressed mood and he becomes a social outcast living a life of misery.   CNN or FOX or MSNBC etc.. use this story to birth a new disorder that is named “Chronic Cell Phonitis Not Otherwise Specified”.

They have “experts” from Harvard come on and tell you it is the end of the world as we know it.  Then you spend the next 2 weeks on the internet trying to find out the likelihood of catching this illness, ways to prevent this illness and the prognosis if you do catch this illness.  You have a worry bucket… Don’t fill it with these frivolous topics.  These people are REE-DUNK-ULOUS….

Stay busy: George Bernard Shaw said: “The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about (think about) whether you are happy or not”.  If you can keep moving and keep involved in activities, interactions, meaningful work you will “crowd worry out of your mind”.

Avoid toxic people: If you are worried talking to other people who are worriers and/or negative about life is a recipe for disaster.  Limit these interactions and walk away from relationships that leave you feeling drained.

It’s not the event but your reaction to the event that causes you distress: The stoics were the first to articulate the reality that you can choose your reaction to any event.  This has been handed down for generations and forms the foundation for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy.  Essentially you can rationally challenge your thinking.  A common approach is the A-B-C-D model:

• A= Activating Event (what happened-facts; ex—she ignored me @ the mtg.)
• B= Belief About the Event (our interpretation; “she doesn’t like me”)
• C=Consequences related to the interpretation (anger toward the person, rude toward the person etc…)
• D=Dispute the Belief (what alternative explanation is there; maybe she was distracted)

Clearly understand that worry doesn’t prevent the bad from happening:  “The meta-cognitive model” states that people believe worry will prevent something bad from happening.  Research indicates that it is common for people to maintain this underlying belief.  It is easy to see how this would drive worry.

Preventative measures for worry.  These are activities you can engage in “before” the worry rises up.  As the name implies they are routine activities that, when applied consistently, can reduce the intensity of worry and the negative impact of worry.

Prayer and Meditation: Perhaps nothing is more universally talked about as a way to reduce stress, worry and the associated issues as prayer and meditation.  Even if you don’t buy the spiritual aspects science tells us that consistent meditation can “re-wire” the brain and create new neural pathways.

The “free” Three: There are 3 “free” activities that have been proven to be highly effective in reducing stress and worry.  These are 1) Music-listen as much as possible; 2) Outdoors-being outside even for a brief walk and 3) Laughter-YouTube is great for access to funny videos.

Community: Regular involvement in some type of group or community activity.  Human beings are social creatures.  Being around others provides a boost to our mood and reduces the negative impact of stress and worry.

Managing worry is an ongoing process.  No one is free of worry.  If someone tells you he “never worries” then he is either high or lying.  Give yourself a break.  Find someone you can confide in and, if possible, a group that can support you…

If you are in Greenville SC or surrounding area check out our group opportunities at: www.favorgreenville.org

The post 15 Strategies for Chronic Worrying   appeared first on The Recovery Cartel.