The RECOVERY from “EVERYTHING” Cartel

The RECOVERY ( FROM EVERYTHING ) CARTEL:

---

I am a human being who dealt with a health condition called substance use disorder via a recovery program and lifestyle management strategies. For me it includes meetings, one to one support and continuous effort at self-improvement. I am forever grateful for those who helped me early.

However, it’s important to note: some of my greatest support has come from outside of the “Recovery Bubble”.

NOTE: **There was a time in the not so distant past where I would not say these type of things for fear I would get thrown out of the Recovery Club. Thankfully I’ve matured.**

• I’m not some alien from another planet fundamentally different from all the other inhabitants of earth.
• I reject the “normies” vs those in the recovery paradigm. I reject the addictive thinking paradigm. It’s “human thinking” not addictive thinking. I reject that I am not able to experience the full range of human emotions for fear that I may “pick up”. Anger is not to be feared.
• I reject that I need to spend the rest of my life separating myself from humanity. I reject the paradigm that one must do recovery in a certain manner via a certain type of program.
• I’m just a dude who doesn’t drink or use drugs. And I am interested in living life to the fullest. I have overcome a very serious healthcare issue and want to help others do the same. That’s it…. Period!

---

The Recovery Echo Chamber

Furthermore, I believe everyone is recovering from something. And rather than separating ourselves we should join together. It’s wellness. Health. Mental health. Emotional health. Only then will we impact society. Until then we will just continue to preach to the choir. Attending rallies full of other addictive thinking aliens.
SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS IN OUR ADDICTION RECOVERY ECHO CHAMBER.

I first noticed the universal nature of recovery when working with families. Many people promote a separation between the individual and the family. In general, the individual is encouraged to do their own recovery and the family may or may not engage.

Either way, the recovering individual enters into a secret society. However, as I began to work with families I saw undeniable similarities. For example:

• The family also engaged in a behavior that, at first, provided a sense of relief. However, the behavior quickly turns into a self-destructive act that is compulsive in nature. For example, the family “uses” rescuing over and over despite clear consequences.
• As time progresses, the family entered into a type of denial around both the seriousness of their loved one’s issues and the reality of their behaviors. This serves to protect the enabling behavior in the same way that denial helps the addicted individual protect his addiction.
• I also saw that, just like the person in addiction, family members required support and intervention to get free from these cycles of self-destruction. Just like the addicted individual family members went through predictable stages of change.

---

Beyond the Bounds of Addiction

Then I began to look beyond substance use disorders. I am a certified EMDR trauma therapist and a Certified Employee Assistance Professional.

I own an EAP company and maintain a private practice. I see people who are dealing with a wide variety of issues. I have always known that recovery goes beyond the bounds of addiction.

However, I never thought much about it. Addiction was always the most significant issue and my obsession was eradicating it from my life and my kids lives. And…saving the world.

And then I began to reflect on my own life…

I selfishly moved my family to South Carolina for “my career” and turned their lives upside down.

I started to see my own daughter struggle through this isolative, fragmented, and disjointed world. A world made worse by my self-centered move and my tunnel vision surrounding addiction.

Her struggles weren’t related to addiction so I didn’t see them as I should have.

I had become so myopic in my views. I operated with the unspoken point of view that people grow out of toxic stress and emotional problems come and go. But addiction, that’s what we need to worry about. I tend to see the world through the lens of addiction. Everything goes back to addiction. (Hell, in today’s world everything goes back to the opioid epidemic and overdoses).

In the meantime, my daughter was navigating this ridiculous world of impression management, toxic masculinity, social media isolation, self-imposed pressure, and my absenteeism. She found herself associating with some of the most disingenuous fake people on the face of the planet.

I let her down. I did not defend her or support her as much as I should have because I was obsessed with saving the world from addiction. Fortunately, we have a strong family and she is a strong person. We have gotten control of this situation.

I’m sorry Elizabeth…. I won’t make this mistake again.

---

The Problems of this Society:

However, it makes me wonder. Why do we define recovery so narrowly and why do we ignore the enormity of the problems of this society:

• We live in a world where 64% of college students report severe anxiety and panic attacks.
• 44,965 Americans die by suicide every year.
• Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people age 10-24
• Toxic masculinity is a real issue. It refers to the socially-constructed attitudes that describe the masculine gender role as violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive, and so forth.
• Technology and social media has brought great progress. However, at the same time we are at its mercy.
• Depression and loneliness is at an all time high. You can be constantly connected and constantly alone.
• If you are marginalized in school or among your peers you are never going to be able to escape it due to the ever-present social media access. It’s like 24 hours 365 days of middle school.

It is for these reasons that the RECOVERY CARTEL will pivot just a bit.

We are going to maintain our focus on addiction. We intend to continue to bring you the most up to date and insightful information on recovery from addiction. However, we also intend to broaden our scope. We will focus on mental health, stress management, growing up, parenting, and all things recovery.

But please note: we intend to pursue these topics with the same vigor and aggression we bring to all things associated with the Recovery Cartel. We not going to go all “therapist” on you.

We believe that the most important aspect of recovery is human connection. Actually, we know that the most important aspect of recovery is human connection.

So we are gonna bring some connection….